How To Make Friends-Especially If Going To a New School

( New Jeans-2024)

For some making friends comes naturally, for others not so much. Especially if your introverted or a bit shy and awkward around new people. And this is a major disadvantage if you’re in a new environment or just starting a new school cause well, there’s a chance you know no one there. If this sounds like the kind of predicament you’re in and you need some help you’ve come to the right place!

I have always been able to make such good friends over the years even though I sometimes can be closed off and more reserved. This may come as a shock for people who know me personally as I am a very outgoing and talkative person. Despite this, I am generally quiet person in a new environment or one everyone is a stranger to me. But this shouldn’t some roadblock. Even the socially awkward baddies (I’m talking about YOU) can make friends and I am gonna show you how.

I am going to break this guide of mine into three aspects, namely:

• Socializing
• Things to keep in mind
• Mindset

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01. Socializing

Of course, if you want to meet new people and make friends you have to socialize, these are different ways on how to

1. Joining clubs ⋆. 𐙚 ˚

One of the fastest ways of finding people you’d relate to and vibe with is by joining a club whether student lead or school led. It is always easy to get along with people you share interests and hobbies with and this is the best place to look for such people. The other positive thing about this method is, in clubs you do have to interact with other club members and that way they’ll always be a reason to talk with others and will always have some basic conversation starters.

2. Attending school events 𝜗ৎ

Attending school events is a great was of meeting new school mates in a more casual setting and getting more used to you school grounds. There’s a chance you may find someone who come looking for a friend too.

3. Looking more approachable ⋆. 𐙚 ˚

This isn’t exacting socializing but looking more approachable will increase the chances of people coming up and talking to you. Some shy away from doing so in fear of being dismissed or blown off. Things like body language, maintaining eye contact and smiling can change the way your perceived thus making it more likely to be approached. Also be excited to see people. Don’t be dull and show that their presence is welcome and appreciated.

4. Start up conversations 𝜗ৎ

If you want to make friends you cannot just sit around and wait for someone to come and say they want to befriend you, so that means putting away your pride or building up some confidence to start conversations with others.

For example, in a school setting, if you have a seatmate or desk mate you can start up a simple conversation on your thoughts about the lesson or inquire about a topic you didn’t really understand. Or you can try chatting up a classmate during break and see where the conversation goes. Here is a conservation tip if you don’t know what to start a conversation with, try asking open ended questions. They are a great way to get to know the other person, they are quite easy to expound on, and if your shy you don’t have to do much talking as the question depends on the other persons experiences and views.

Also, you can try starting conversations though active observations. You can comment on something the other person is doing or has. For example, the person you want to engage in conversation with has a nice pin on their bag you can say “That is such a cute pin, where did you get it from?”

5. Actively engage in class discussions ⋆. 𐙚 ˚

Sometimes class or group discussions can come as a blessing in disguises especially if you are looking to get to know your classmates/ make friends (though sometimes they can just be a pain) It may seem scary to give suggestions or ideas about something in a setting where you really don’t know how the rest will respond but it’s worth a shot. You may find some like minded people or get to see how others work out different problems and view situations from different perspective.

6. Try befriending someone whose alone most times 𝜗ৎ

Sometimes the loners are just people who struggle finding friends or are too shy to get out of their comfort zone and you may just be their knight in shining Armor befriending them. Though this may not always be the case, there’s a chance the reason they’re alone is they don’t want friends or aren’t interested in finding any.

7. Learn, use and remember people’s names ⋆. 𐙚 ˚

Everyone likes to be acknowledged, to be seen and to be known. Especially if you meet someone with a difficult to pronounce name. Instead of giving them a nickname or using the nickname everyone uses, take time to learn their name and use it. They will feel appreciated and seen.

8.Compliment people 𝜗ৎ

Complimenting others is a very good conversation starter. Everyone loves a good compliment. When you compliment others, you give off a more friendly demeanour and people are more drawn to you. You could also make that person’s day, and if you’re a bit too shy to compliment them face to face you can do so on their social media account. Leave a like on their story or compliment their post

But keep in mind making friends is more than going up to people and offering friendship, this leads us to the second aspect which is

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 2. Things to keep in mind while making friends.

• FRIENDSHIP STANDARDS ⋆˚꩜.ᐟ

While looking for friends you should have friendship standards. You should know exactly what a friend looks like to you and also what friendship is to you. Obviously, this may sound a bit silly as beggars can’t be choosers after all but if you’re just looking to be friends with just anyone, you’ll end up with friends you don’t really like or in toxic friendships that you just put up with cause you’re afraid of being alone. In the long run you’ll end up lonelier and miss on the opportunity to find friends you actually enjoy being around. So have friendship standards, here are a few basic ones to look for :

Friends should:

-Bring positive energy and leave you energized rather than drained

-Be trust worthy and be someone you can confide without second guessing doing so

-Respect your time and energy and put in effort

-Be genuinely happy for your success and achievements

-Challenge you to do and be better and build you up

-Be a good listener and a supportive person

-Be a good communicator and be able to express their thoughts and feelings

-Share the same values and morals (this doesn’t have to be the case most of the time but it is easier to have a stronger bond with someone who shares your values, beliefs and morals isn’t it?)

And so much more, of course these standards may vary from person to person so define yours, what are your green flags in friends? How should they treat you, how should they make you feel etc. This way, you will have somewhat of a guide or a compass to look back on to see if you’ve found a good candidate and in the long run you would not have settled for less.

• REJECTION ⋆˚꩜.ᐟ

This process involves opening your heart and building up confidence to offer your friendship and there’s a huge chance that you might get rejected at least once or twice. You need to learn to be okay with being rejection or you’ll never be able to put yourself out there and find your people. Every rejection you get is a step closer to finding the right people for you. And you need to understand even though it seems that you’re the common denominator in the rejections, you aren’t the problem, it just shows you’re not compatible with everyone and that’s okay.

• IT TAKES TIME AND EFFORT ⋆˚꩜.ᐟ

There’s no overnight solution to finding and making friends you adore; friendships take time to build up. That’s why it’s a process not a one-step thing. And you should learn to love the process cause at the end of it you’ll be so proud of yourself for going out there, giving your all and building a relationship with someone you love spending your time with.

• YOU HAVE TO GET OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE ⋆˚꩜.ᐟ

Easier said than done huh, but it’s necessary when trying new things and this whole process screams new all the time. It may be uncomfortable or scary but it is the only way. Something I like to tell myself is that, the things and people we are so comfortable with and hanging around now were all once new and now look where you’ve reached. So, you have to gain courage to step out of your comfort or you’ll miss people who will bring you more of it in the end

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3. MINDSET

  Last but not least is mindset. A positive mindset is one of the most important things to have when diving into something new. And yes, the term positive mindset can mean so many things so I’ll get right into the specifics.

• YOU HAVE TO BE OPEN MINDED ⋆˚.༄

It’s almost impossible to try new things with a closed mind and all you want is to stick to what you know cause its easier and familiar. Judging everything or everyone by previous standards of what you’re used to or what you expect them to be like is setting yourself up for failure cause after all, everyone is different. So, try going into this with an open mind and no grand expectations and it will be easier to see people’s different quirks and personalities.

• HEALING FRIENDSHIP TRAUMAS ⋆˚.༄

Another thing that could be holding you back for making new friends is the friendship trauma you’ve had in the past. Whether you’ve been back stabbed or rejected it happened and now you’re scared of it happening again. So you just make sure it doesn’t………by closing yourself off. It’s crucial to not let past experiences shape your future, you need to heal from your trauma in order to try again and I promise you it will be worth it.

• BE AUTHENTIC ⋆˚.༄

I know when you’re in a new scary environment all you’d like to do is fit in. There’ve been times where I wished I could fade into the background and do everything to avoid standing out, that also means dialing down my personality. This however will never help you in the long run, if you do things just to be like everyone else and lack authenticity, you’ll just end up attracting people who are not their authentic selves or end up with friends that you can’t even be free around.

• SHOW GENUINE INTEREST ⋆˚.༄

When looking to make friends you have to show you’re genuinely trying to getting to know people. Do not be cold when approached by your peers, avoid looking put off by a conversation you’ve been invited to and show that you really want to get to know those around you and that their thoughts, ideas and suggestions are something you give thought to. I think being friendly also falls under this category. Be friendly, hostility will not get you any closer to your goal of making friends. Who wants to be friends with someone whose always so cold and closed off when approached?

• STOP MAKING EXCUSES ⋆˚.༄

This is the cherry on top the friendship cake, if you’re ever going to embark on this journey you have to stop making excuses. It doesn’t matter if your shy or socially awkward or not good at conversations, yeah this may all be true but it shouldn’t stop you for going out and meeting new people. Such excuses truly won’t get you anywhere so drop them!

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Now that we’ve reached the end of my guide, i GUARANTEE YOU that you will find the whole making friends process a whole lot easier. Go out there and make me proud. Until next time, Bye byeeee.